As a teenager, I didn’t expect working as a mother would be in the picture. My daughter Ada was born in January 2020, about six weeks before the shut-down of pretty much everything. This sudden closure of my social life turned out to be a good thing for me. The transition to motherhood was, to put it simply, overwhelming. (I resonate with a lot of what this mom shares.)Ada didn’t nap well until she was about nine months old. Nursing was the struggle from hell that I didn’t realize I felt compelled to fight until I was in the thick of it. It was a relief to not feel obligated to see friends or even grocery shop when I never knew when my daughter would eat or sleep, week after week.
But I missed editing. I feel lucky to have my dream job of reading and getting paid for it, not to mention the amazing authors and publishers I get to be friends with. And I’m good at what I do. I missed working with authors to make their stories the best they could be. I missed using my brain for more than remembering which side my daughter last nursed on and when she last pooped.
When Ada turned three months old, I started editing again. Not because I felt ready but because I needed work to feel sane. It was too easy to get wrapped up in the minutiae of baby care. Working helped me step out of my own head, to see the big picture. If Ada slept twenty minutes, or pooped through two outfits in one hour, or nursed every forty minutes, it was okay. I had another mental space to go now–my editing space.
These days, editing brings more stress to my life than balance as it did earlier in Ada’s life. That’s because I’m still learning how long things take me. When I take on more than I realize I can, I end up working a lot more than I’d like to some weeks. But it’s a process. And I know I’ll figure it out eventually.
Working as a mother has been an odd balancing of two things that are supremely important to me. One I chose: my career. The other I like to think chose me: my daughter. Both stretch and push me, but also reward me with good stories and lots of hugs and kisses.
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